dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
