I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
