question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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