i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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