wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
