last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
