I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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