Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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