we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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