i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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