Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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