There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
