Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
