He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
