she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I booty called her while she was in labor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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