:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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