Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
