how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
