Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
