just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
