Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I party with great urgency now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
