69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
