Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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