Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
