We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
