We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize