I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
