Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it was like eating out sand paper
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
