garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
