...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
