i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
