I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
