dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize