Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
