I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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