yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
