I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
