Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
