Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
