Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
