She said her name was "party"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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