I saw his package. It spoke to me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
