I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
