I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
