Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
