dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
