i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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