Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
