The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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