We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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