Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
