why didn't you poke me back
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
