? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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