OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
