I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
