Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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