I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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