I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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