Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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