I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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