woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
