Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina is officially offended.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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