You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
