You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
