I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
