Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
