check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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