working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize